After my last post, I think I’ve decided online dating isn’t for me. If I meet somebody I like, I get stressed and worked up at the idea of actually meeting them in case there’s no spark in person.
So I’ve signed up for a Speed Dating night in my area in a couple of weeks time. I figure even if there’s nobody I like, that’s okay, because I never have to see any of them again! And if there is, it’s a great place to start.
I’ve been a member of OK Cupid for a while, but the none of the guys I’ve met on there have really gone anywhere or done anything for me. I’m thinking of joining My Single Friend, I have friends willing to write blurbs for me – but £21 a month seems like a lot, just to be able to reply to any messages I may get. Having the free account doesn’t really seem to be worth it if I can’t reply without paying for an upgraded account.
I tried geek2geek but I think most of the people on there were different types of geek to me. Match.com doesn’t seem to be worth it without paying, either – I don’t object to the idea of paying for a membership on a site, don’t get me wrong – I just want to make sure it’s the right site first.
Any tips or recommendations for good sites to use?
I was searching around on Google, looking for information/posts from/on people like me. And I found an article from The Times that basically made me feel about two inches tall – apparently I’m very much in the minority. I knew that much – I wasn’t expecting to read an article in such a well regarded newspaper telling me to “get a move on”.
Though there is no right time to have sex, according to a 2006 BBC Radio 1 survey by the age of 25 you are one of only 4 per cent of the British population who have not yet lost their virginity.
Holding out for meaningful sex is a worthy aspiration but, as I suspect you are beginning to realise, at a certain point virginity can become a burden. When the rest of your peer group are fully fledged members of the “sexually active club” and you are still waiting for Mr Right to carry you across the threshold, dreams of a first time that is “really special” are slowly but surely being replaced by the twin fears of exclusion and humiliation.
Having failed to trade your “hopes” for real experience, you are left with a choice between declaring yourself “the last virgin in Britain” or embarrassing yourself in an attempt to avoid winning that title.
In discussing virginity, the emphasis is always on stemming teenage promiscuity, but research suggests that delaying sex may also be harmful, so you really should get a move on. Two years ago a study carried out at Columbia University found that those who lose their virginity at a later age — around 21 to 23 — are more likely to experience sexual dysfunction problems in later life.
The Times Online, May 9, 2009.
Well, great. At 25, I’m obviously already done for, so I may as well just kill myself now.
I’m 25 years old, and I’m a virgin. It’s not a religious choice, I’m not socially awkward (in general) and I have plenty of friends. And yet I’ve never had a boyfriend (well, not since I was 15, and we all know that kind of high school hand-holding doesn’t really count) and I’m finding myself more and more afraid of the dating world. The idea of going on a date fills me with dread. And when I looked it up on Google, sure that I wouldn’t be alone, there was nothing much to be found.
So I started this blog. Half to give me somewhere to talk about the things that I’m too afraid and embarrassed to verbalise to my friends and family, and half in the hope of giving others like me a place to talk too. Comments are enabled on all posts here, but feel free to reply anonymously. After all, I’m not revealing my identity either.
That’s me in a nutshell.